the aftermath: let's go, so we can come back.

a lesson. a final lesson perhaps? of the many regarding these 3 weeks stolen (and grossly expanded in entirely new disturbing directions) from the daily trials of living.
never. ever.
ship fragile products home from india.
because they will break into tiny little chipped pieces and you will wonder why precisely you were idiot enough to mail it in the first place.
let's blame jet lag.
perhaps i can make a pillow out of that hard-won sewn up cotton.
and sell it on ebay.
pay homage to gandhi.

ive delayed on writing a "conclusion" on india.
apparently.
yet im prompted now to sit, take my time (in my mother's home at my mother's computer as my own seems to be on holiday itself), sipping my warm bottled water and occasionally screaming at penny to stop barking and shut the hell up.
its a pleasant atmosphere.
more so because i've recently had a bowel movement and nothing suspicious has made itself known to be living in my feces.
india may not have actually scarred my bowels.
i am thankful.
thank you india? (thank you providence...everybody! sing with me now!)

before i left actually - a friend of mine wanted me to explain/find out why precisely (of course) alanis sings these lyrics.
i have no bloody clue.
and i only know the one line anyway.
lets look them up, shall we?

------------------------------------

How bout getting off of these antibiotics
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How bout them transparent dangling carrots
How bout that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How bout me not blaming you for everything
How bout me enjoying the moment for once
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How bout grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How bout no longer being masochistic
How bout remembering your divinity
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How bout not equating death with stopping

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

yeah yeah
ahh ohhh
ahhh ho oh
ahhh ho ohhhhhh
yeaahhhh yeahh

---------------------------------

and so croons miss morissette.

let's address the first two lines.
antibiotics.
and eating.
im not entirely sure why she wants to get off the antibiotics.
i had a special container full of azithromycin held on standby should my bowels feel the need to spray water for 24 hours straight.
fortunately that never happened.
however i felt all the better for having my stash.
im sure its that cosmic rule.
had i actually not had the antibiotics im quite sure the affliction noted above would have occurred.
furthermore.
should one happen to be getting on antibiotics for whatever such reason - one should of course finish the course prescribed.
everyone knows that alanis.
were you taking them for sport?

god why will my dog not shut up?


eating.
i quite agree.
let's stop eating when "full up".
here! here!

however a 20 oz chai is still much appreciated.

i have no idea why she mentions carrots and kudos.
please refer to ms. morissette's rep for further clarification.

terror, disillusionment, frailty, consequence, and (ahem) silence.
hm.
certainly. yes. noted.
but silence?
should there happen to be a silent spot in all of india.
the cosmos might implode.
someone find it for me please.
and get me a rickshaw man to take me there.

im going to entirely skip the next paragraph as i believe she is dealing with some personal issues there.

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

now. there is something about this i wholly enjoy.
did i spelly wholly correctly?
a little alteration then.
holy.
holy.
holy.

there is a dream world in that bit right there.
the framework is supplied.
just fill in the gaps to suit your own purposes.
any moment. any era. any place.

referring back to our aim here.
yes. it can certainly be applied to india.

divinity and death.
again. applicable.
particularly the last note.
not equating death with stopping.

i won't go into the overlaps and layers of religion amongst the peoples of india.
as ive mentioned before.
i wouldnt know where the hell to begin.
but even taken out of context; that hot, rich bed of godliness and souls.
this one line appeals to me immensely.
perhaps because i never care to stop.
because if the option to live forever presented itself i would grab it and hold tight. and growl in the midst of my greed for good measure.
and should i grow tired of the cycling - theres always buddhism.
simply choose your religion.
theres a god for every purpose.

and here.
new words. (clever girl that alanis)
providence.
nothingness.
clarity.

i can only imagine.
the sort of skewed contradiction between the first two allowed for the third.
walk the line between perhaps?
never so black and white is it?

and the best part.

yeah yeah
ahh ohhh
ahhh ho oh
ahhh ho ohhhhhh
yeaahhhh yeahh

what i said exactly.



and so.
in conclusion.
as there are those who think india ought to change one's life.
it has in the way that every day of my life has.
no more. no less.
i do quite believe india has enough burdens to deal with as it is.
it does not seek (or need) mine as well.
and i go places for the challenge, to observe and to learn.
learn even the simplest things.
check myself at the door (as best as one can manage) and find another me aimlessly wandering inside.
she's ready and willing to get a bit dirty and shove her way through the day.
forever refining the art of shitting via full squat.

-----
on that note.
my mother is calling.
she insists my already full belly is in need of more eating.
there is christmas shopping to complete.
and naked children wandering the streets the world.

"Come on princesa, I'll get you a latte!
Let's go- so we can come back."

----------

and i've since had that 20 oz chai.
starbucks of course.
its not the same.
not really.