Taking out the trash

I am, admittedly, not the most domestic of human beings.
You would think that in light of my rather sensitive sinuses and skin I might try to keep things around the house neat, simple, and clutter-free.
And you would be mistaken.
I seem to lack the motivation. It is just so bothersome.
As long as it doesn't smell, who cares?

However, I impressed myself (to astounding heights) and spent 6 hours cleaning my second floor. Yes, that is only one floor out of 3. No matter! I scrubbed, washed, dusted, scraped, and crawled over every nook and cranny. It shines! It sparkles! It gleams in the moonlight!

I am not thinking about the fact that four people and four animals live in my house and that my beautiful living room, dining room, and kitchen will rather quickly return to a grimy, dusty, cluttered mess. Again, no matter.

Why? Because I feel damned good. Because I worked at something I generally ignore and found such joy and refreshment in the purging.
There's something to be said about all those old sayings.
I'm sure I was scrubbing a bit of my soul today.
This was 6 hours of peace.

Thanks a latte.

home again. home again.
forget capitalization today.
im swimming in old bad habits.
that will likely never die.

i come home to one too many emails and im sifting through them (deleting the bulk)
a message from my local coffee shop catches my eye.
it appears that someone stole the tip jar.

wtf?

now. these poor folks run a small enterprise on the corner just a block from my house and they've been properly robbed in the past.
but this is really now getting to be ridiculous.

in light of recent occurences they are looking to decrease their already scant open hours and bloody hell - im pissed off!

i will not preach about the wretchedness of society.
we're certainly capable of far more heinous crimes.
and there are smarter people that would do it better than i could anyway.
but truthfully it saddens me more than anything else.
once upon a time i had looked forward to moving into the city.
to enjoying the local spots.
i remember prior to moving in when i was scouting the area, just strolling around one february morning...
i met the owner actually.
disgustingly nice.
and i imagined all the mornings to come when i could walk over and grab my parade of lattes and life would be simple and sweet and good.

'disillusionment' is not the word.
im not sure my blase self was sunbathing on the summit of that peace-happy-love mountain to truly experience the crash and burn of falling down.
but i was enjoying the walk up.

someone just had to mess with my coffee.

Ode to Slumdog Millionaire

It has taken me nearly a year, but I have finally seen Slumdog Millionaire.
And it was beautiful.
I don't care about the unrealistic happy ending.
Just that they were happy.
And more importantly - they danced.

I even felt the need to get off my couch and dance with them in celebration.
I felt that good.

And now I never want to see it again.

There is this thing with enjoying a film so very much... where I fear another viewing just in case the sparkle dulls.
When my smile is not quite as wide.
When the pause in my breath not quite as long.

Which route to take when something touches you so?
Use it over and over or keep it safe? Intact.
A diamond memory.

Let's not consider the inevitable senility.

A little late for the train.

I just spent 20 minutes crying. A good cry. Who am I kidding? A BRILLIANT cry. I had not been aware that I needed one, but the powers that be work in mysterious ways.

It is - terrifying is I think the most appropriate word - terrifying how writing can pull thoughts and emotions to the surface (in full force, mind you). Shit you had not even known was there. This is in relation to the cry of course. As I am plugging through my little assignments for the Matador Travel U travel writing madness I am coming to realize a great gap in my life that is far too much silence. I rarely feel comfortable speaking, but writing in my journal or to close friends has always allowed me to more clearly share myself, and even then, I have not done it enough.

I hope to change that. I still fear judgements, labels, or simply being ignored, but that's alright.
It's this growing thing and it does hurt a little, but that's alright too.
This is for me. Just me.

Yes, I just might need a tissue.

Do you see this?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20090905/sc_space/spacesightsandsmellssurpriserookieastronauts
This is beautiful to me.

I don't mean the smell.

I mean that 16 countries got together for this thing.
I'm sure there are politics to it. Drama. Squabbles. Bitch-fests.
Whatever.
(DO NOT tell me about them - I want to retain my illusion of peace love and harmony)

But seriously.
I almost cried reading this.

Or maybe it's just been a long 4 nights of working.
Whatever.

It's still fucking beautiful.

In the aim of virgin exposure.

And the assignment continues to where I can only aspire...
After exploring my local possibilities, both online and off, this is my list of publications I would like to write for (should I bite the bullet and venture into unknown lands... and be found acceptable)

1) Urbanite
P.O. Box 50158, Baltimore, MD 21211
WhatYoureWriting@urbanitebaltimore.com
They will only respond if submission is selected for publication.

2) Baltimore Magazine
ljohn@baltimoremagazine.net
Arts and Culture
lsuzanne@baltimoremagazine.net
Food
They do have a travel section...
Need to query...

3) Examiner.com for Baltimore
You apply to run your own forum as an "examiner".

4) Baltimore Chronicle and Sentinel
editor@baltimorechronicle.com
They are actually looking for travel pieces.

5) Smart Woman
http://smartwomanonline.com/contact/
contacted them to see what the process is...

That took a hell of a lot more time than I thought it would.
I was tempted to give up at 4.

Running the obstacle course

New and I assure you I have no idea what I am doing and pretending to be grammatically correct along the way.

Please feel free to correct me. I'll try to be a good girl.

This is an assignment by the way. Of a sort.

Starting this blog is one of those things that have scuttled about my brain for some time and I haven't bothered, but enough forces are now in motion that I broke down and here I am.

God help you.

While I'm on hold with Veri_on no less. Have a thai coffee in the meantime.

(Dysfunctional keyboard)... and will someone please tell them new music is desperately needed?