Agra in a day

agra.

welcome to agra.
home of the taj mahal and a few other architectural gems.
and please welcome us poor idiots (that being michiko and i) who have been traveling all night on the train with bags in hand and a plan to see as much as we could before catching yet another train the coming night.

im not sure what i was thinking of when i made these reservations, but i swear i had a good reason at the time.

wade through the usual bullshit fucking MADNESS when exiting the train station.
something like this:

"Madam! Madam! Taj? Taj mahal! 100 rupees!"
"Madam! Rickshaw? Rickshaw madam!"
"Madam! Tuk-tuk? Tuk-tuk? 200 rupees! Only 200 rupees madam!"
"Madam! Taj Mahal?"
"Hello! Agra Fort? Taj Mahal? "
"Madam! Hello! Hello! Madaaaaaaam!"
"Madam! Tuk-tuk? Tuk-tuk? 200 rupees! Only 200 rupees madam!"
"Madam! Taj Mahal?"
"Hello! Agra Fort? Taj Mahal? "
"Madam! Madam! Taj? Taj mahal! 100 rupees!"
"Madam! Rickshaw? Rickshaw madam!"
"MADAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!"

ALL - AT - ONCE.

Five million fucking madams from every direction at full volume at 8 the fuck in the morning after a bad night of sleep and still unbrushed teeth.
yes.
i was not in the best of moods.
michiko wasnt much better.

and by the grace of god.
in a land of of so many gods.
we met Tariq.

i dont know how.
but he appeared.
an angel in mismatched (but clean) clothing.
and drove us out of the gates of hell and proved to be the jewel of the day.
we ended up hiring him for 300 to take us from the train station to breakfast, then taj, then agra fort, then lunch, the city center, and finally (though it was not in the original agreement) to his own home to meet his family.
(and back to the train station)
i love Tariq.
even if its all a clever clever ruse to get money.
he's really and truly nice.
i heart Tariq.

breakfast was an overpriced affair.
but there was a relatively clean bathroom that proved useful for brushing teeth and freshening up.
the key to simple traveling is always be resourceful.

and then on to the taj mahal.

now.
ill be honest.
in my original plans for this india vacation.
visiting the taj mahal was not at the top of my list.
i was like.
so what.
i can see that shit on television.
i could check it out on youtube.
but then.
i became increasingly aware that it might be some sort of sacrilege to come all the way to india and not at least get a glimpse of the damn thing.
so i stuffed it in.
despite my wrench of pain at the admission fee (750 rupees and keep in mind ive been paying just 200-300 for a bed to sleep in and 10 for a bottle of water)
i suppose im glad i went.
im not crazy.
but i know that sounds crazy.
just stay with me a moment.
it is certainly - certainly - a lovely building.
a marvelous feat of design and engineering.
marble everywhere.
(which felt fantastically cool for my hot sweaty back - i highly recommend finding a corner and just collapsing in the shade and admiring the carved graffitti you are sure to find as less artistically inclined lovers seem to want to proclaim their love to the world as well, albeit rudely)
didnt get a chance to do that moonlight tour, but im sure it would have been brilliant then as well. they say theres is something about the color changes or whatever.
special marble?
another whatever.
the artistry in the carving and tiny tiny details of stone work are really fucking amazing. (im being serious)
but.
the man had it built for his now dead wife.
(from childbirth of their 14th child, god help her - id be dead too and i havent even had one)
right?
ok.
my thought is.
if it were really love.
i mean really really.
he would have built it himself.
its an easy thing when you are king and got loads of cash to shell out to show off your love for your woman.
people (who have money) do it all the time.
so yeah. he's king - surely some people are starving somewhere, surely a school or two needs updating, an irrigation system needs adjusting, but he wants to build this huge crazy thing.
and pays people to do it.
while he what?
sits around sipping banana lassis?
give me a break.
if you want to admire it for the artistry, the workmanship - sure.
do so.
im all for it.
those long dead artisans deserve it.
but dont give me this bullshit about it being this wonderfully romantic symbol of eternal love.
come on.
as a basis of comparison.
titanic.
jack put her on the floating door!
forgive me if im a little biased.
we americans know better.

by the way.
im in no way an expert.
im rather at the other end of that spectrum.
(like way out there)
so should i be missing some surely relevant historical fact.
by all means.
enlighten me.
but i doubt youll change my mind.
(didnt i say we americans know better?)

moving on.
agra fort.
home of the mughal kings.
which i find interesting because i think even without a tour or guide or whatever.
you can see where... eh...
shah jahan?
i thinks that the one who commissioned the taj (grandson of akbar)
also put his little touches on the fort.
the changes over generations.
anyway.
loved it.
loved it for all the little nooks and crannies.
carved gateways and arched paths and open verandas.
the little hallways and skinny stairs and room after room after mini-room.
i could get lost in that place. never wanting to be found.
and play with the monkeys.
and feel like a kid again.
and watch the chinese tour groups ooh and ahh over whatever really important things their tour guides were sharing.
im terrible i know.
but they're fucking hilarious.
they really get into it.
OOOOOOHHH!! AAAAAAAAAH!!!

lunch was lovely.
quiet spot in more green space guarded by a beautiful doberman.
yes.
theyre expensive in india as well.
"nice by day, very mean at night" - Tariq informs us.
good to know.

we then went to store after store admiring beautiful works of craftmanship that i dreamed of one day owning, but had no money or means in the meantime.
tables, plates, boxes of marble carving and stone work - like that of the taj mahal because apparently the iranian artists that came for the taj stuck around rather than go home and passed on their mad skillz (or so im told anyway).
jewelry. silk saris. pashmina scarves. thick, high quality carpets and rugs designed and made right there in front of you.
(which incidentally are made from australian and kiwi wool because indian sheep are lacking in fluff)
Tariq took us all over.
we liked him by then.
and he admitted he gets 20 rupees for us "just looking" and we had loads of time to kill (being all monument-ed out)
and i am very good at "just looking".
michiko zoned out and i went on a "just looking" spree.
photos could not do it all justice.
the marble work is what really had me tempted.
an enormous show room of white, black, and green marble.
all with carved bits of turquoise and mother of pearl and lapis lazuli and god only knows what else!
but they carve out the precise spaces from the marble base then shape the stones bits and pop them in - creating pictures of birds and elephants and flowers or just abstract designs...
i would have paid 750 just to spend the day in that showroom.
to hell with the taj.

but really.
i was just looking.