McLeod Ganj/Dharamsala Day 2

dharamshala day 2 consisted of me waking up at 3:30 in the morning with a low grade fever, hacking up and blowing out thick yellow goo (check out that medical terminology) and generally feeling like a shit.

i wanted a hot shower and i wanted it now.
what i got instead was cold water and a bucket.

so i waited. and waited. wondering if i missed some part of the instructions in how to get the hot water tank to work and alternating between pacing and snuggling under five million blankets.
eventually i calmed down. by 5.
read a little of the booklets on tibet i had picked up the day before (i believe ive mentioned by addiction to collecting paper things to read) and went out to watch the sun rise over mcleod ganj.
a sunrise full of dog barking and monkeys rattling in the trees.
beautiful of course, but ive yet to see an unbeautiful sunrise.
wrapped in finnair once more and simply trying to breathe.
slowly.

the proprietor of yellow guest house finally appeared, disheveled, and grunting when i noted (admittedly with a slight irritated edge to my voice):

'you did say there was hot water yes? i tried before but it didnt work'
'yes, its on now, you can use it'

ah of course.
time limits.
im such an idiot.

'right, thank you!'
and i dashed off. eager for scalding temperatures.

in the end it was warm at best, but i wasnt picky. i needed a good scrubbing more than anything and something hot and nutritious for breakfast.
i popped my vitamins, dressed snug and warmly and wrapped my shawl tight around my head and neck.
still felt a bit like shit, but i was clean and warm and about to eat.
the world was relatively pleasing in that moment.

i passed this day by leisurely.
still had that green tara to buy and the temple complex to explore so i strolled, took my time, attempted to make sense of tibetan buddhism in my mind (albeit unsuccessfully) and enjoyed the sound of chanting as often as i could and aged tibetans conducting their prayers. i sat in the sun as often as i could, hoping to soak up all the warmth it had to give. or burn away the illness.
i put yoga aside as there was a short film at the museum at 3 that i wanted to see more.
and that was my only scheduled event for the day.
after the film (on the imprisonment and subsequent torture of tibetan nuns) i lingered in a nearby cafe. watching the younger monks sip their tea, laugh with one another, and chat on their cell phones.
with the older monks involved in seemingly far more serious interactions, but the warmth was there.

and i knew i had a 5 am bus to amritsar to catch in lower dharamsala and the wiset coures of action was to leave yellow guest house and move to a cheap room in 9 km south, but i so didnt want to leave.
i simply did not want to go.

but time moves on and as i was gathering up my things another foreign woman walked in and i overheard her begin a conversation with a young tibetan - a scheduled meeting they had.
it seemed she was conducting research for her thesis on the identity of young tibetans in exile and i envied her.
so very much.

i cried a little on the taxi to the lower world. apparently noted by my neighbor who asked why i was crying. he seemed to be one of the nicer indian men who have approached me but i waved him off and went back to feeling like shit for other reasons that day.

still. whatever else- im good at focusing on the practical. on what needs to be done. so i took care of some internet things. found an ever so charming room with roaches and used condoms (as i discovered in the middle of the night), and finally tried to sleep, fitfully and just itching for 4:30 am to appear.

i was restless and unsettled.
i needed to move.
it suited that amritsar was waiting.